Can Knowing How To DJ Get You Girls?

You’ve heard it before: A guy who knows how to DJ can get any girl he wants, right? But just how true is it? For instance, a top DJ gets lots of attention from the opposite sex. But does the guy who plays the student disco on Saturday nights? They both know how to DJ, after all. Now let’s be totally honest about this: Many a young man gets into DJing for the thought of “girls on tap”. (And apologies to our girl DJ readers here, but 95% of DJs, and so our readership, are male. Just how it is.)

But the truth is, you can’t just assume that because you play, it automatically means you’ll get loads of attention from the opposite sex. It’s not always like that. My best advice is that whatever type of DJ you are, playing a great set every single time is always going to be your best chance of “opposite sex attention”.

However, having said that, I think there are ten different levels of DJ in this world, all with different degrees of “pulling power”. So firmly in the Christmas spirit, today’s lighthearted post is just that: My top ten DJ types, ranked by their “pulling power”. Where do you fit in? 🙂

Top ten types of DJ ranked by “pulling power”:

1. 1. The Superstar DJ – We’re looking at the top DJs in the world here. From the so-called top 100 DJs to musicians that play sets and get big gigs, this one’s pretty obvious to anyone. These guys have rock star status and can get girls at the flick of an eyelid. They always have pretty groupie girls following them around and stalking them. They just ignore most of them and only take the best-looking or sexiest ones when they feel like it, or if they’re bored. Pull power rating: 98-100%
   2. The Top Club DJ – These guys get to play before the big-name DJs in most of the best clubs, venues and at festivals. They may be excellent DJs – but without a big hit to their name, they are ranked below the top-level in the DJ success pyramid. They’re often just as good, if not better than the main guys at the top of the pyramid, but without the hype and fame. They probably get a bit less attention but almost as much as the top guys. Pull power rating: 92-95%
   3. The Club Resident – The club resident DJ is your regular slot man at the weekends at the local top club in a city like Manchester, Sydney or San Francisco, for example. He’s pretty cool and trusted by the owners to whip up a fairly decent frenzy, almost every time. He occasionally gets gigs in other cities, but probably could get more if he tried. He DJs for a living and maybe runs an agency on the side. He gets plenty of attention and is a local star. Girls recognise him and his reputation improves if he looks good, especially. Pull power rating: 75-80%
   4. The Club And Cool Bar Guy – These guys are cool DJs but don’t necessarily play out for a living. It’s a hobby for which they get paid reasonably well. They tend to mix in clubs on occasions and in funky and fashionable late-night bars with dancefloors at other times. They have other activities too, alongside DJing. As long as they look acceptable, they get a fair amount of interest from ladies, especially when they get those club sets every month or two. However, they still have to play decent tunes and make people enjoy themselves to get any chance of action. A poor DJ at this level won’t get much attention. Pull power rating: 45-50%
   5. The Student Party DJ – Most of us have been to student parties (frat parties in the US) and can remember how drunk everybody gets. The DJ in these parties has a big chance of not going home on his own, mainly (although not exclusively) due to the alcohol and student culture. If you’re a student frat party DJ, you may think it helps not to play awful music, but actually having a cheesy selection of tracks apparently helps you out at these parties. In my student years (I wasn’t the DJ back then), I remember one girl I knew who would always be waiting for the DJ to finish packing up at the end of the night, whoever he was. He didn’t even need to speak to her during his set. Pull power rating: 30-35%
   6. The Bar, Pub And Party DJ – The guys that play out in bars can also be pretty funky. Many of them are pros at knowing how to DJ and can cook up a good atmosphere during a night. Some bars and pubs are great fun to have a night out at and if the music’s good, everyone can be dancing on top of the tables and even on the bar. These DJs are also known among friends for being able to cook up a decent atmos at a party and are often asked to “take care of the music”. But some nights there aren’t many people around and on many occasions, they get no attention from any ladies. On other days though, they do get some girls asking them what they’re doing later on. Pull power rating: 20-25%
   7. The Greying Mobile And Wedding DJ – These fellas often make a living from doing functions and weddings. Their image is generally of a guy who’s nearing retirement, and who looks it! They are friendly enough, but aren’t really in the game for women. They just do their job and then leave. They’re not usually even interested in women, even on the occasions that they are approached. Which is a good thing too, because hardly any women are interested in them. Unless they get some drunk, distressed lady at a wedding… Pull power rating: 8%
   8. Trailer Park BBQ DJ – This guy does Sunday nights at the trailer park disco BBQ and pulls out all the latest top 40 hits, all with autotuned vocals. He also manages to shout through the microphone as loudly as possible in between every Rihanna, Gaga or Beyonce tune that goes on, possibly causing bleeding in young children’s ears. Plenty of alcohol is consumed, so if he doesn’t get into a fight for refusing to play Flo Rida or Katy Perry’s latest floorfiller, he probably would have a better chance of getting action than the mobile DJs. Unfortunately though, his sets nearly always end up with a brawl and his gear getting soaked in cheap beer. Pull power rating: 7%
   9. The Family Event DJ – This guy kindly DJs for free for his family gatherings. Often (but not always) he might be a beginner DJ who’s been wise enough to take the advice that he should play out wherever he can in order to learn about how people react to music. He starts off quite excited to be playing his favourite tracks outside of his bedroom and live for the first time to a crowd of cousins, uncles and parents and a few friends. But the excitement soon fades away as some drunken aunties and uncles constantly request Abba and Village People songs later during the night. Unless his cousin brings her cute best friend along, the chances of action really aren’t that high. Pull power rating: 2%
   10. Old People’s Home DJ – This guy is brought in purely to entertain the elderly folk. Don’t laugh, we’ll all be old one day. He bangs out stomping dancefloor hits by Vera Jones and Edith Piaf. He considers dropping his favourite dubstep track now and again, to gauge the crowd’s reaction, but a sharp look from the care home manager quickly puts a stop to that. But unless some lady got her medication mixed up, he won’t be getting action any time soon. Unless he gets exceptionally lucky with the horny kitchen staff that is. Pull power rating: -2%

Finally…

Look, of course we’re having a bit of a laugh here. You should be DJing for the right reasons as well, and not just because you think you’ll get loads of action. Often, those who learn how to DJ because they want attention from the opposite sex give up after a few months and a few failed, miserable gigs.

But just one final though from my, ahem, experience. In some places or countries, you get much more attention than others. I haven’t played everywhere in the world, but can tell you that most times I’ve had a girl be a bit “forward” with me, they’ve generally tended to be from certain parts of the planet. Which countries would those be? I’ll let you decide, before the PC police arrest me…

• Matt Challands is a British DJ living in Paris, France. He’s one half of electro duo Sao Paulo Punks or and also runs a DJ blog.

Did you get into DJing to get girls (as well as for the music of course)? How did it work out for you? Do you have a queue of ladies (or boys) at your DJ booth wanting you for your body, or just wanting to know the name of the last tune you played? We’d love you to confess all in the comments. And happy Christmas!